The things that keep us awake at night are always good for talking about in notes. However, I won't discuss too much openly here. I want to write, but I don't want to pour everything out on Facebook, or even on a piece of paper at home. Learn from the past and move on, right?
I used to be the kid in high school who moped around trying to get attention. I did have real reasons to be sad, but I let it consume me. Because of that, I hate writing blogs and sounding depressed. In fact, I hate telling anyone about problems. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin right now, and I don't think I ever have. I'm reading the youth translation of Brennan Manning's "Abba's Child," and as a result, I'm trying desperately to learn to love myself. The truth is, though, that there are so many things about me that I despise. I want to pretend like body image isn't an issue for me. I want to pretend that I think purely and have everything under control. I wish I could go back to how I was when I was in fourth grade. Back then, I was a good boy because it was how I felt convicted to be. I truly believed in loving others. As time went on, people saw those things and began to think that I was a great kid. I was a leader in the youth group at my church (if not THE leader). I was the one who was supposed to become a missionary. But I began to put on for others. I don't know what was authentic anymore. Did I do all of that because I was close to God, or did I do it to impress others?
I've begun a quest for reality. I strive only to show nothing more and nothing less than who I am. I believe in painful but loving honesty. I believe in cleaning up all the bullshit lying around. I've stopped believing in evangelism for the sake of evangelism. Relationships are key.
I've stopped believing in perfection. I know no one claims to be perfect, but do we not sacrifice every comfort in order to maintain the image of it? If we can't progressively be perfect, then we certainly must look good in whatever endeavors we pursue.
No.
Sorry, I'm not. I hope and pray that I will stop trying to act like it.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Water
Water is clear...
Air is clear.
Glass is clear.
But I would say that my water is a bit murky,
my air a little cloudy,
my glass somewhat hazy.
But that's ok. I'm happy now because it was completely opaque.
Air is clear.
Glass is clear.
But I would say that my water is a bit murky,
my air a little cloudy,
my glass somewhat hazy.
But that's ok. I'm happy now because it was completely opaque.
Water
Water is clear...
Air is clear.
Glass is clear.
But I would say that my water is a bit murky,
my air a little cloudy,
my glass somewhat hazy.
But that's ok. I'm happy now because it was completely opaque.
Air is clear.
Glass is clear.
But I would say that my water is a bit murky,
my air a little cloudy,
my glass somewhat hazy.
But that's ok. I'm happy now because it was completely opaque.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Mexico or Germany?
Next summer I need to go somewhere. I'm starting to get the itch to travel again...No, I take that back. It's starting to overwhelm me. I've been dying to get back out into the wide world beyond Kentucky since Last year, and my brief two weeks in Germany last spring only made me want to head back out even more.
Will I ever want to settle down?
I'm 20, and while I'm young, I want to go places and see things. I want to learn other languages and understand other people. I've started unofficially learning some Russian from a friend of mine, and I've got this little bit of French I picked up during high school...I could get my fluency in five languages within the next two or three years if I try hard enough. But I'm not quite ready to start working on the new ones yet. I want to go back to Mexico or Germany. The question is, which one do I pick?
Mexico is cheaper (but only by about $200). I've not been there since the very end of 2004, and I can't believe that. There's also a good deal of help I could contribute there...
Germany is where I feel a bit more involved. Having lived there for a year, keeping in constant contac with friends from there, and the good public transportation is a plus. Europe is really fascinating, but also a good place to relax.
I really hate having to decide. Part of me wants to go to Germany for a while, then head to Mexico immediately afterward. Part of me wants to spend the whole summer abroad. Part of me wants to slap both of those other parts in the face.
Anyway, any input? Flying to Mexico will cost roughly $530...Germany will cost anywhere from $800-$1000...but if I start saving now, it shouldn't be a problem...There are also other things I'm considering...Grad school, immediately employment...It's all too much. I have no idea what I want to do right now.
Will I ever want to settle down?
I'm 20, and while I'm young, I want to go places and see things. I want to learn other languages and understand other people. I've started unofficially learning some Russian from a friend of mine, and I've got this little bit of French I picked up during high school...I could get my fluency in five languages within the next two or three years if I try hard enough. But I'm not quite ready to start working on the new ones yet. I want to go back to Mexico or Germany. The question is, which one do I pick?
Mexico is cheaper (but only by about $200). I've not been there since the very end of 2004, and I can't believe that. There's also a good deal of help I could contribute there...
Germany is where I feel a bit more involved. Having lived there for a year, keeping in constant contac with friends from there, and the good public transportation is a plus. Europe is really fascinating, but also a good place to relax.
I really hate having to decide. Part of me wants to go to Germany for a while, then head to Mexico immediately afterward. Part of me wants to spend the whole summer abroad. Part of me wants to slap both of those other parts in the face.
Anyway, any input? Flying to Mexico will cost roughly $530...Germany will cost anywhere from $800-$1000...but if I start saving now, it shouldn't be a problem...There are also other things I'm considering...Grad school, immediately employment...It's all too much. I have no idea what I want to do right now.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Metal=Loud
And that's what I'm around Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4 PM to 12:30 AM. It's my new job, and I have to say, I like it more than I thought I would. I work at Briggs and Stratton as an operator in power testing. That means I am one of six people who are responsible for testing the engines and setting the speed on them. There are six different jobs to be done on the line, and I'm finally starting to feel fairly comfortable with them. (After three days of working)
Other than that, life is life. Bible studies are happening Monday nights at my apartment; I'm working on research papers; I'm spending time with friends...That's my life, and I'm pretty content at the moment.
I am also deciding to cut meat out of my diet for a while. Last week was my "experimental vegetarian week," and it went surprisingly well. I ate meat on Wednesday and Saturday, and that's because I was supporting things dealing with our German program. On Monday I had French onion soup (with beef broth), but the rest of the time it went fairly well. I haven't had any meat since Saturday, and I don't see any in the forecast at least until this Saturday (another Bratwurst grill with some of the language professors, language majors, and random people), and I might not eat any then. Sepa la bola.
But I feel pretty energetic now...I'm proud that I'm cutting out meat, because I've been eating healthier foods as a result. The book "Being Vegetarian for Dummies" has been a huge help...anyone wanting to make the transition should check it out.
Anyway, other than that, there's not a lot to say. If you're reading this, feel free to post a comment. If you'd prefer a different language, let me know, and I'll switch. I write so that people can keep up with me, and I'll switch to suit your preference...to a certain extent. Das heisst aber nicht, dass es sich nicht genauso wie jetzt anhoeren wird. Pero no creo que sea un problema del idioma...
In conclusion...
Keep it real.
~Bustaaaaa
Other than that, life is life. Bible studies are happening Monday nights at my apartment; I'm working on research papers; I'm spending time with friends...That's my life, and I'm pretty content at the moment.
I am also deciding to cut meat out of my diet for a while. Last week was my "experimental vegetarian week," and it went surprisingly well. I ate meat on Wednesday and Saturday, and that's because I was supporting things dealing with our German program. On Monday I had French onion soup (with beef broth), but the rest of the time it went fairly well. I haven't had any meat since Saturday, and I don't see any in the forecast at least until this Saturday (another Bratwurst grill with some of the language professors, language majors, and random people), and I might not eat any then. Sepa la bola.
But I feel pretty energetic now...I'm proud that I'm cutting out meat, because I've been eating healthier foods as a result. The book "Being Vegetarian for Dummies" has been a huge help...anyone wanting to make the transition should check it out.
Anyway, other than that, there's not a lot to say. If you're reading this, feel free to post a comment. If you'd prefer a different language, let me know, and I'll switch. I write so that people can keep up with me, and I'll switch to suit your preference...to a certain extent. Das heisst aber nicht, dass es sich nicht genauso wie jetzt anhoeren wird. Pero no creo que sea un problema del idioma...
In conclusion...
Keep it real.
~Bustaaaaa
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Cracking My Knuckles
I'm trying to think of something to write. I like to write regularly, but if anything exciting happened this week I was too tired to realize it.
It was a slow one. I spent some time with friends, convinced my Spanish professor to let us have one more day added to our Fall Break (which is all day Friday), and had dinner with a friend I haven't talked to in a while.
We had our first official Bible Study of the home church on Monday, which went quite well.
Other than that, I suppose I should say (in regards to my last entry) that I'm dropping EDU 303. Maybe I'll take it again next semester. Maybe not. I feel like the old woman who lived in the shoe...except my shoe looks like this...
Her's looked a little more like a boot...
But I'm the same as her...
I really don't know what to do.
It was a slow one. I spent some time with friends, convinced my Spanish professor to let us have one more day added to our Fall Break (which is all day Friday), and had dinner with a friend I haven't talked to in a while.
We had our first official Bible Study of the home church on Monday, which went quite well.
Other than that, I suppose I should say (in regards to my last entry) that I'm dropping EDU 303. Maybe I'll take it again next semester. Maybe not. I feel like the old woman who lived in the shoe...except my shoe looks like this...
Her's looked a little more like a boot...
But I'm the same as her...
I really don't know what to do.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Ph.D. or Señor Buster?
http://www.princetonreview.com/grad/research/articles/decide/phd.asp
The thing is, my Spanish professor threw out the idea. I mentioned here that the education program is filled with BS courses and homework, so I've wondered if that will affect my decision at all. Maybe I'll go ahead and get teaching certification, but starting early on a degree that promises about five years of constant research, starvation, and teaching sounds better than getting into something that might not be as enjoyable for me.
Why would I get a Ph.D? Questions I'm asking myself right now are:
Would I rather teach in college?
Would I rather be doing than teaching?
Do I want to be a student for another five years?
What are the advantages of actually getting a Ph.D?
Can I do the work?
The problem with me is this; I love to read. I love to be social. But I HATE doing work for things that don't interest me. That's where I'm having my biggest problem in my undergrad years. I hate to do homework. Will I enjoy reading books without ceasing, summarizing them, gathering information for a thesis, and in effect building my own project?
I think, at least for this semester, I'm going to stay in the education program here at MSU regardless of my nagging feeling that it's a mountain of you-know-what. I'll be writing research papers for my German and Spanish classes, so I'm hoping to get a feel (at least a small one) of what it's like to do that all the time.
What if, in the end, I get a Ph.D. and teach in high school? With such a high degree you're looking at (from what I've gathered) an approximately $35K increase in pay. Not that I need the money that badly, but if I like studying (and I do, in the sense that I like learning) and can get after doing something I love, then why not jump on it?
But I'm still wondering about becoming a missionary...I'm still thinking about the advantage of graduating with a very open job market that will help me pay off all my debts immediately, and even though I'm sure I want to be involved in language, traveling, culture and education, I'm not sure exactly which route I'll take now that I've come this far. The road forks off at least four different ways, and I believe for right now I can rule out the one that says interpreting. But the immediate choices (just to list them) are:
*Ph.D.
*Teaching certification
*Interpreting
*Getting out of school as quickly as possible in order to do mission work
*Dropping the education degree and hoping I can be hired to teach with BA's in German and Spanish
They all sound on some level appealing. Money is an issue, but only on the level of actually getting the money I'd need to do these things. For grad school, it's not too hard to get that paid for with teaching assistantships and things. Mission work would be, I believe, the most expensive. I'm not at all worried about lower pay later. I just don't want to be in debt the rest of my life.
I've been looking for a good way out of this blog, and since nothing's come up, I'll stop now.
~Buster
The thing is, my Spanish professor threw out the idea. I mentioned here that the education program is filled with BS courses and homework, so I've wondered if that will affect my decision at all. Maybe I'll go ahead and get teaching certification, but starting early on a degree that promises about five years of constant research, starvation, and teaching sounds better than getting into something that might not be as enjoyable for me.
Why would I get a Ph.D? Questions I'm asking myself right now are:
Would I rather teach in college?
Would I rather be doing than teaching?
Do I want to be a student for another five years?
What are the advantages of actually getting a Ph.D?
Can I do the work?
The problem with me is this; I love to read. I love to be social. But I HATE doing work for things that don't interest me. That's where I'm having my biggest problem in my undergrad years. I hate to do homework. Will I enjoy reading books without ceasing, summarizing them, gathering information for a thesis, and in effect building my own project?
I think, at least for this semester, I'm going to stay in the education program here at MSU regardless of my nagging feeling that it's a mountain of you-know-what. I'll be writing research papers for my German and Spanish classes, so I'm hoping to get a feel (at least a small one) of what it's like to do that all the time.
What if, in the end, I get a Ph.D. and teach in high school? With such a high degree you're looking at (from what I've gathered) an approximately $35K increase in pay. Not that I need the money that badly, but if I like studying (and I do, in the sense that I like learning) and can get after doing something I love, then why not jump on it?
But I'm still wondering about becoming a missionary...I'm still thinking about the advantage of graduating with a very open job market that will help me pay off all my debts immediately, and even though I'm sure I want to be involved in language, traveling, culture and education, I'm not sure exactly which route I'll take now that I've come this far. The road forks off at least four different ways, and I believe for right now I can rule out the one that says interpreting. But the immediate choices (just to list them) are:
*Ph.D.
*Teaching certification
*Interpreting
*Getting out of school as quickly as possible in order to do mission work
*Dropping the education degree and hoping I can be hired to teach with BA's in German and Spanish
They all sound on some level appealing. Money is an issue, but only on the level of actually getting the money I'd need to do these things. For grad school, it's not too hard to get that paid for with teaching assistantships and things. Mission work would be, I believe, the most expensive. I'm not at all worried about lower pay later. I just don't want to be in debt the rest of my life.
I've been looking for a good way out of this blog, and since nothing's come up, I'll stop now.
~Buster
Monday, September 17, 2007
Blogging de Nuevo
I think I'm back on with the blogging. The summer was so boring and long and hot that blogging just didn't sound worth doing. However, now that I'm back in school, getting pissed off at professors and meeting new people all the time, blogging is back in for me.
Anyway, to catch you up, I worked all summer in the pharmacy and moved back to Murray on August 17th. That night I had a little sleepover, because I didn't have furniture in my apartment. It was fun, but some key people were missing.
I've finally got everything I own in the apartment (well, except my bedframe), and it looks full and comfortable, for the most part. Monday nights is bible study night. A few of my friends were talking about making cookies, so it's going to be at my place this Wednesday. I cook for friends (mostly because I don't like to cook for just myself...my roommate is gone a lot).
So far, I'm enjoying the apartment, except for worrying about bills and rent. We've finally turned off the air conditioning because the weather has finally moved into my favorite kind. I slept last night with the window open and nearly froze. I wore a long sleeved shirt today. I like that for some reason.
I'll give you the titles of my classes...see what you think:
SPA 323 Advanced Spanish Culture
SPA 460 Short Stories and Poetry
GER 331 Advanced German Language Practice
GER 450 German Literary Masterpieces
EDU 303 Instructional Strategies for Teachers
They sound great, I think, but, for the most part, I'm not happy with them. SPA 323 is with my favorite Spanish professor, but his class is boring (and starts at 8 AM)
EDU 303 is the biggest crock of BS I've ever encountered (with a few useful things hidden along the way...the teacher bores us, says she can tell we've been given too much information, and throws even more on us)
My Spanish 460 class has great content...we read Spanish poems from the 1500's onward that are really great and I've enjoyed getting to know, but the class is filled up with stupid talks about poetic devices (syntax, synthesis...shi, ehm...)
What else? German 331 is stressful. My class has people who are fantastic, and others who are awful, but I've made a new friend there, who I call my protegee. He taught himself German in a year and a half online, but has trouble understanding people who speak it to him...
German 450 is by far my favorite class with my advisor/favorite professor. Enough said there.
And I think I should say enough said for everything right now. I'm hungry and need lunch.
I have GER 450 today, and then I'll be working in the Modern Languages Department (grading papers...I'm worried about how I'm going to do it when I've got 210 students...it takes me every bit of 2 hours to grade 70 quizzes)
Anyway...lunch time.
Anyway, to catch you up, I worked all summer in the pharmacy and moved back to Murray on August 17th. That night I had a little sleepover, because I didn't have furniture in my apartment. It was fun, but some key people were missing.
I've finally got everything I own in the apartment (well, except my bedframe), and it looks full and comfortable, for the most part. Monday nights is bible study night. A few of my friends were talking about making cookies, so it's going to be at my place this Wednesday. I cook for friends (mostly because I don't like to cook for just myself...my roommate is gone a lot).
So far, I'm enjoying the apartment, except for worrying about bills and rent. We've finally turned off the air conditioning because the weather has finally moved into my favorite kind. I slept last night with the window open and nearly froze. I wore a long sleeved shirt today. I like that for some reason.
I'll give you the titles of my classes...see what you think:
SPA 323 Advanced Spanish Culture
SPA 460 Short Stories and Poetry
GER 331 Advanced German Language Practice
GER 450 German Literary Masterpieces
EDU 303 Instructional Strategies for Teachers
They sound great, I think, but, for the most part, I'm not happy with them. SPA 323 is with my favorite Spanish professor, but his class is boring (and starts at 8 AM)
EDU 303 is the biggest crock of BS I've ever encountered (with a few useful things hidden along the way...the teacher bores us, says she can tell we've been given too much information, and throws even more on us)
My Spanish 460 class has great content...we read Spanish poems from the 1500's onward that are really great and I've enjoyed getting to know, but the class is filled up with stupid talks about poetic devices (syntax, synthesis...shi, ehm...)
What else? German 331 is stressful. My class has people who are fantastic, and others who are awful, but I've made a new friend there, who I call my protegee. He taught himself German in a year and a half online, but has trouble understanding people who speak it to him...
German 450 is by far my favorite class with my advisor/favorite professor. Enough said there.
And I think I should say enough said for everything right now. I'm hungry and need lunch.
I have GER 450 today, and then I'll be working in the Modern Languages Department (grading papers...I'm worried about how I'm going to do it when I've got 210 students...it takes me every bit of 2 hours to grade 70 quizzes)
Anyway...lunch time.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Just Wondering
You know that feeling you get when you realize that you haven't done half of the things you wanted to do?
Or that sickening feeling that comes over you when you step back and look at what a mess you've made of your life?
Just wondering.
Or that sickening feeling that comes over you when you step back and look at what a mess you've made of your life?
Just wondering.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Pushin Pills, Being Tired, and Stuff
I don't know if pushin pills refers to something bad or not, so just to clear it up, I mean I'm filling prescriptions at the pharmacy. That's my summer job. I'm the pharmacy's "hey! do this!" kid. It's alright. The pay is good enough for me and more than I was expecting/adding into my budget for the summer.
I've also been noticing my poor sleeping habits beginning to take their hold on me. Being at work at 8:00 is forcing me to get out of bed somewhat earlier than I've been used to this entire semester (having my first class at 9:30 since January).
But really, I have nothing else to say. I just filled myself up with some Mexican food and feel like a stomach pumping would be in order.
I'm going to go drink some water.
I've also been noticing my poor sleeping habits beginning to take their hold on me. Being at work at 8:00 is forcing me to get out of bed somewhat earlier than I've been used to this entire semester (having my first class at 9:30 since January).
But really, I have nothing else to say. I just filled myself up with some Mexican food and feel like a stomach pumping would be in order.
I'm going to go drink some water.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Chuggin away...
So, I'm looking for an apartment for next year...
As well as standing on the brink of having 3 papers to write in one day...A Spanish one exceeding 5 pages, a civ one right at that, and another civ one that will be somewhat shorter than the first.
Then I have an online ID section for civ...and a Spanish final on Miercoles, and lastly Deutscher Donnerstag...The German should be easy...a 5 minute presentation on my part, and two pages worth of questions...I've got to look over some German composers though...
That's all the updating anyone's getting right now...
Until the end of this crazy week...
~Buster
As well as standing on the brink of having 3 papers to write in one day...A Spanish one exceeding 5 pages, a civ one right at that, and another civ one that will be somewhat shorter than the first.
Then I have an online ID section for civ...and a Spanish final on Miercoles, and lastly Deutscher Donnerstag...The German should be easy...a 5 minute presentation on my part, and two pages worth of questions...I've got to look over some German composers though...
That's all the updating anyone's getting right now...
Until the end of this crazy week...
~Buster
Thursday, May 3, 2007
An die Freude
I'm so glad and thankful that school is almost over. Since I've been buried under masses of huge projects, presentations, and essays, I've developed a sort of apathy for just about everything. I make time to do other things, but at the same time, I never really feel free from all the pressure of school work.
I'm so thankful that next week that'll be over. Just two and a half essays more, and I'll be finished for the semester.
I won't have fantastic grades, but I've learned a lot this semester. One, I've realized how important it is to not overload yourself, and two, I've discovered I simply can't work (at least not off-campus) while I'm studying.
What am I going to do differently next semester?
For one, let's fast forward to the end of the month, when I'll be working and saving money for next year (I mean, in the terms of next school year). My plans are to find a semi-decent job (or possibly two, one being for weekends...I don't know yet)and begin saving. I had planned on going to Germany next semester, but because of a lack of scholarships and other funding, I'll be postponing those plans for the next year. That should give me time to save up a bit for then, and not have to go into debt for it.
Another thing that will happen next semester is that I'll begin working in the MSU Modern Languages Department for 10 hours a week at minimum wage. This is an advantage because, unlike my last job, I'll have a steady paycheck that I can budget, plus money saved up from the summer, and I'll be able to get in some practical experience grading papers and teaching vocabulary words to language students. Also, I'll probably have opportunities to tutor, which will give me teaching practice and extra money.
As far as school goes, I just want to make sure that *I* am the one in control; and not my heaping mounds of homework. I can get a 4.0 if I put in a little effort. Plus, I'll be doing mostly classes (from here on out) in my major, so they'll be a little more interesting to me.
As far as summer plans go, anything that I had thought about before is still there, but I don't know if it'll actually go through. I have $200 for a United flight that I have to use before August. For that reason, I'm trying to think of where I'll go...
Yeah, so that's about it. I know I didn't really say a lot about Germany, but there isn't a whole lot to say. If I ever get my pictures on a disk I'll put them up here. We built. Ten hours a day. It was a lot, but I learned a lot of practical thnigs through it too, and because I spent so much time ripping up linoleum and tearing down walls, I look at houses a bit differently now.
Anyway, I need to go to my dorm. I'm going to try to get an outline for one of those two essays finished. Then I'm going to get out my civ book and go over some things for my final.
A good day to you all.
I'm so thankful that next week that'll be over. Just two and a half essays more, and I'll be finished for the semester.
I won't have fantastic grades, but I've learned a lot this semester. One, I've realized how important it is to not overload yourself, and two, I've discovered I simply can't work (at least not off-campus) while I'm studying.
What am I going to do differently next semester?
For one, let's fast forward to the end of the month, when I'll be working and saving money for next year (I mean, in the terms of next school year). My plans are to find a semi-decent job (or possibly two, one being for weekends...I don't know yet)and begin saving. I had planned on going to Germany next semester, but because of a lack of scholarships and other funding, I'll be postponing those plans for the next year. That should give me time to save up a bit for then, and not have to go into debt for it.
Another thing that will happen next semester is that I'll begin working in the MSU Modern Languages Department for 10 hours a week at minimum wage. This is an advantage because, unlike my last job, I'll have a steady paycheck that I can budget, plus money saved up from the summer, and I'll be able to get in some practical experience grading papers and teaching vocabulary words to language students. Also, I'll probably have opportunities to tutor, which will give me teaching practice and extra money.
As far as school goes, I just want to make sure that *I* am the one in control; and not my heaping mounds of homework. I can get a 4.0 if I put in a little effort. Plus, I'll be doing mostly classes (from here on out) in my major, so they'll be a little more interesting to me.
As far as summer plans go, anything that I had thought about before is still there, but I don't know if it'll actually go through. I have $200 for a United flight that I have to use before August. For that reason, I'm trying to think of where I'll go...
Yeah, so that's about it. I know I didn't really say a lot about Germany, but there isn't a whole lot to say. If I ever get my pictures on a disk I'll put them up here. We built. Ten hours a day. It was a lot, but I learned a lot of practical thnigs through it too, and because I spent so much time ripping up linoleum and tearing down walls, I look at houses a bit differently now.
Anyway, I need to go to my dorm. I'm going to try to get an outline for one of those two essays finished. Then I'm going to get out my civ book and go over some things for my final.
A good day to you all.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Relief
My German Paper is finished!
My English Research paper is finished as well, because I'll be using a paper I wrote for Civ last semester! (It was great...the paper needed six resources, and there were exactly six on the last paper. And the paper meets the "argumentative" topic! (More or less...I'll have to make a few minor changes...))
I just need to get a book for civ and have it read by Saturday, plus a review on it...and tonight, I need to finish my education take home final...
Ahh...sweet relief.
My English Research paper is finished as well, because I'll be using a paper I wrote for Civ last semester! (It was great...the paper needed six resources, and there were exactly six on the last paper. And the paper meets the "argumentative" topic! (More or less...I'll have to make a few minor changes...))
I just need to get a book for civ and have it read by Saturday, plus a review on it...and tonight, I need to finish my education take home final...
Ahh...sweet relief.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Doing Nothing...
...because I have so much to do.
A 6+ page German paper due on Monday...
I have to get and read a book and write a review on it by next Saturday.
I have to correct an English paper and write a new research paper by Friday.
I have to do my Education take home final by Tuesday...
Then my education final is on Thursday...
Plus I need to turn in some stuff for my presentation that I did on Thursday...
and I have a Spanish paper/Presentation due on April 30th.
Stressed? You bet.
What am I doing about it? Nothing.
Now it's crunch time. It's 4 in the afternoon here on Saturday, and I intend to finish my German paper by tomorrow night.
Cross your fingers!
~Buster
A 6+ page German paper due on Monday...
I have to get and read a book and write a review on it by next Saturday.
I have to correct an English paper and write a new research paper by Friday.
I have to do my Education take home final by Tuesday...
Then my education final is on Thursday...
Plus I need to turn in some stuff for my presentation that I did on Thursday...
and I have a Spanish paper/Presentation due on April 30th.
Stressed? You bet.
What am I doing about it? Nothing.
Now it's crunch time. It's 4 in the afternoon here on Saturday, and I intend to finish my German paper by tomorrow night.
Cross your fingers!
~Buster
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Back to School...
...for two days...
Then back to Germany...
Then back to school again.
I can't wait until summer, when I'm free of stupid school stuff.
I have ideas for things to do, but I'm still not positive exactly what the summer will hold.
A job, a spiritual retreat, a trip to Mexico...
We'll have to wait and see.
But my heart is jumping ahead to those things...I hope that I don't become too caught up in the future and forget the present.
Then back to Germany...
Then back to school again.
I can't wait until summer, when I'm free of stupid school stuff.
I have ideas for things to do, but I'm still not positive exactly what the summer will hold.
A job, a spiritual retreat, a trip to Mexico...
We'll have to wait and see.
But my heart is jumping ahead to those things...I hope that I don't become too caught up in the future and forget the present.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Homework...Prepare to Meet your Maker...
...Or Buster...Who wasn't your maker...
But will get you done.
Today...
Or at least...
What he can until like 4:30
Game face on.
CIV PRESENTATION!
EDU PRESENTATION!
ENGLISH ESSAY!
You're goin' down.
And I'm procrastinating with this stupid blog.
So...
I'm done taunting.
I'm going to get you done.
(Sorry for this post.)
~Buster
But will get you done.
Today...
Or at least...
What he can until like 4:30
Game face on.
CIV PRESENTATION!
EDU PRESENTATION!
ENGLISH ESSAY!
You're goin' down.
And I'm procrastinating with this stupid blog.
So...
I'm done taunting.
I'm going to get you done.
(Sorry for this post.)
~Buster
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I see nothing but...
Gray skies above me. Wet ground underneath my feet.
And I think my feelings are sort of reflecting that. Right now, to put it in the words of the Germans, ich hab einfach kein Bock.
Meaning...(give me a second to think of an adequate translation)
I have no desire. Period.
I don't want to start tearing through my mountain of homework. I don't want to waste so much time this break being lazy, but with the general "grayness" of everything it just seems like the only thing to do.
I want to see my family. I want to see my friends. But I'm the only one having a break right now. Everyone else is going about the normal, daily business, and I'm stuck with a feeling of 1) being an immature adult, and 2) having nothing to do. Since starting next week I'll have little time to get through any homework, I know I need to have it finished by Sunday. Also, considering I'll only have two weeks in Germany, I'll feel rushed to do all the work there is to be done and see all the people I haven't seen for awhile, as well as the nightly pressure of my homework.
Things are definitely not ideal. Things aren't going as I had thought they would.
This really sucks.
But anyway, tomorrow the homework must be started...
By Saturday, everything will be squared away.
Que Dios me ayude.
And I think my feelings are sort of reflecting that. Right now, to put it in the words of the Germans, ich hab einfach kein Bock.
Meaning...(give me a second to think of an adequate translation)
I have no desire. Period.
I don't want to start tearing through my mountain of homework. I don't want to waste so much time this break being lazy, but with the general "grayness" of everything it just seems like the only thing to do.
I want to see my family. I want to see my friends. But I'm the only one having a break right now. Everyone else is going about the normal, daily business, and I'm stuck with a feeling of 1) being an immature adult, and 2) having nothing to do. Since starting next week I'll have little time to get through any homework, I know I need to have it finished by Sunday. Also, considering I'll only have two weeks in Germany, I'll feel rushed to do all the work there is to be done and see all the people I haven't seen for awhile, as well as the nightly pressure of my homework.
Things are definitely not ideal. Things aren't going as I had thought they would.
This really sucks.
But anyway, tomorrow the homework must be started...
By Saturday, everything will be squared away.
Que Dios me ayude.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
No Fitting Title
You are beauty, Lord.
In a dry and weary land I long for you.
Fill my heart with praise...
With songs of adoration to you.
And let your children sing,
You're the Most Wonderful
The Most Beautiful
The Most Powerful...
Oh Lord You are,
The Most Wonderful,
The Most Beautiful
The Most Powerful...
It's funny that Heather posted that Psalm to my last blog...
Oh God, You are my God,
Earnestly I seek You, my soul longs for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
God has amazed me lately. Despite being hurt by people, despite what I see as injustices done unto me, I'm not bitter. He took care of me yesterday when my car battery died on the way home; He took care of me when people disrespected me. He is the reason I continue singing. He is the reason I carry a smile on my face.
Not money. Not people. Not doing well in school.
For the person who randomly reads this...
Let God be your strength.
He is mine.
Pray that Psalm over and over-Let every aspect of it fill your being.
May God bless those who read this and can somehow manage to draw closer to Him.
In a dry and weary land I long for you.
Fill my heart with praise...
With songs of adoration to you.
And let your children sing,
You're the Most Wonderful
The Most Beautiful
The Most Powerful...
Oh Lord You are,
The Most Wonderful,
The Most Beautiful
The Most Powerful...
It's funny that Heather posted that Psalm to my last blog...
Oh God, You are my God,
Earnestly I seek You, my soul longs for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
God has amazed me lately. Despite being hurt by people, despite what I see as injustices done unto me, I'm not bitter. He took care of me yesterday when my car battery died on the way home; He took care of me when people disrespected me. He is the reason I continue singing. He is the reason I carry a smile on my face.
Not money. Not people. Not doing well in school.
For the person who randomly reads this...
Let God be your strength.
He is mine.
Pray that Psalm over and over-Let every aspect of it fill your being.
May God bless those who read this and can somehow manage to draw closer to Him.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Getting There
So, I've finished my English draft correction. I finished my Wiesner Essay...
That means tomorrow I've got to get my draft of my educational philosophy together, and by Friday I have to have my second English paper typed. Also, on Thursday my KIIS application is due to study in Germany next semester.
Chrysalis is postponed this weekend, so that will give me more time to enjoy my Spring Break and stay focused on my workload.
I talked to my boss last Thursday night about quitting, and now it's official. My last day of work is Thursday (but I won't be working this week until then). Still, it's going to be good that I have a little money over the next few weeks.
By the way, I won $200. We had to read a book for my freshman orientation class, and there was an essay contest over the book. I won in my category. The $200 dollars is supposed to help me study abroad, and right now, I need all the little help I can get as far as that goes. I'll probably be working this summer at some point, but I might go to Mexico first for a few weeks. I'm still undecided on that.
What else? I'm reading a pretty good book right now about St. Francis. It's given me a lot of ideas for improving things in my spiritual life. Mostly, my goal is to simplify things in my life, and to start making use of what I have instead of desiring more. For that I'm going to try giving myself a weekly allowance of $20, so that I can't really buy anything big, but still have money for what I need. Also, I've thought about getting rid of some of the clothes I don't really wear much and donating them to something. Any good ideas?
My friend/Freshman Family Group Mom, Natalie, put together a little fundraiser for Invisible Children last week. She had a talent night, and she sold her poetry and will be sending the money to Invisible Children. There were also musicians, and I was planning on selling hotdogs for it, but I was held up at work and didn't make it on time, but I've started thinking about things like that.
I'm not going to lie, I'm looking forward to the end of the semester and Spring Break. But now that I'm "unemployed," I might start enjoying things more. Also, I really think that will cut back on my urges to spend money, but I know once summer rolls around, I'll have to work. One consideration I had was to work at the local Mexican restaurant. I know it wouldn't be great money, but I think it would be fun. I just know I don't want to work in retail. I think working at Payless was really hurting me, because I saw a lot of greed there. However, I also think that I realized how greedy I can be. I started thinking people look worst when they're shopping. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but there was something about them that changed. Not only that, but they could also be very rude to me, and all I was trying to do was my job. I hope I'm never like that, and I hope that that lesson sticks with me.
Anyway, I haven't rambled on here in a long time, so I thought I would. I need to go to Spanish now, though. And then German.
Then math.
.....I can't wait until I have math class out of my life forever.
~Buster
That means tomorrow I've got to get my draft of my educational philosophy together, and by Friday I have to have my second English paper typed. Also, on Thursday my KIIS application is due to study in Germany next semester.
Chrysalis is postponed this weekend, so that will give me more time to enjoy my Spring Break and stay focused on my workload.
I talked to my boss last Thursday night about quitting, and now it's official. My last day of work is Thursday (but I won't be working this week until then). Still, it's going to be good that I have a little money over the next few weeks.
By the way, I won $200. We had to read a book for my freshman orientation class, and there was an essay contest over the book. I won in my category. The $200 dollars is supposed to help me study abroad, and right now, I need all the little help I can get as far as that goes. I'll probably be working this summer at some point, but I might go to Mexico first for a few weeks. I'm still undecided on that.
What else? I'm reading a pretty good book right now about St. Francis. It's given me a lot of ideas for improving things in my spiritual life. Mostly, my goal is to simplify things in my life, and to start making use of what I have instead of desiring more. For that I'm going to try giving myself a weekly allowance of $20, so that I can't really buy anything big, but still have money for what I need. Also, I've thought about getting rid of some of the clothes I don't really wear much and donating them to something. Any good ideas?
My friend/Freshman Family Group Mom, Natalie, put together a little fundraiser for Invisible Children last week. She had a talent night, and she sold her poetry and will be sending the money to Invisible Children. There were also musicians, and I was planning on selling hotdogs for it, but I was held up at work and didn't make it on time, but I've started thinking about things like that.
I'm not going to lie, I'm looking forward to the end of the semester and Spring Break. But now that I'm "unemployed," I might start enjoying things more. Also, I really think that will cut back on my urges to spend money, but I know once summer rolls around, I'll have to work. One consideration I had was to work at the local Mexican restaurant. I know it wouldn't be great money, but I think it would be fun. I just know I don't want to work in retail. I think working at Payless was really hurting me, because I saw a lot of greed there. However, I also think that I realized how greedy I can be. I started thinking people look worst when they're shopping. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but there was something about them that changed. Not only that, but they could also be very rude to me, and all I was trying to do was my job. I hope I'm never like that, and I hope that that lesson sticks with me.
Anyway, I haven't rambled on here in a long time, so I thought I would. I need to go to Spanish now, though. And then German.
Then math.
.....I can't wait until I have math class out of my life forever.
~Buster
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Following Heather's Advice...
Here is my new, improved, and prioritized to-do list...
Be in awe.
Arranged by date of Deadline.
March 8th- Educational Philosophy 1st draft
March 8th- Foreign Language Festival Judging/Helping
March 10th- Wiesner Essay Due (Discussion about a historical article)
March 13th- Educational Philosophy 2nd draft
March 14th- German Project Outline Due
March 15th- Educational Philosophy Final Draft, Germany Fall '07 Program application due
March 16th- English Essay due
March 16th, 17th, 18th- Chrysalis Weekend, start of "Spring Break"
March 27th- Civilization Presentation Outline Finished, Education chapters 3 and 5 due
March 29th- Civ Mid-Term Essay Due via e-mail, Educational Philosophy posted on-line
April 11th- German Project Due
April 12th- Militarism/Fascism and Concentration Camp Buchenwald presentations in Civ
April 12th, 13th- Day in German (German immersion at Kentucky Lake)
April 19th- Education Presentation
Sidenotes: Spring Break starts on March 16th, lasts until March 26th
I'll be in Germany from March 28th until April 10th
Also, I've got to get a book and do a book review for Civ, due at the end of the semester.
I don't know when my Spanish essay is due...maybe I should find that out.
Check and see how I'm doing from time to time.
Be in awe.
Arranged by date of Deadline.
March 8th- Educational Philosophy 1st draft
March 8th- Foreign Language Festival Judging/Helping
March 10th- Wiesner Essay Due (Discussion about a historical article)
March 13th- Educational Philosophy 2nd draft
March 14th- German Project Outline Due
March 15th- Educational Philosophy Final Draft, Germany Fall '07 Program application due
March 16th- English Essay due
March 16th, 17th, 18th- Chrysalis Weekend, start of "Spring Break"
March 27th- Civilization Presentation Outline Finished, Education chapters 3 and 5 due
March 29th- Civ Mid-Term Essay Due via e-mail, Educational Philosophy posted on-line
April 11th- German Project Due
April 12th- Militarism/Fascism and Concentration Camp Buchenwald presentations in Civ
April 12th, 13th- Day in German (German immersion at Kentucky Lake)
April 19th- Education Presentation
Sidenotes: Spring Break starts on March 16th, lasts until March 26th
I'll be in Germany from March 28th until April 10th
Also, I've got to get a book and do a book review for Civ, due at the end of the semester.
I don't know when my Spanish essay is due...maybe I should find that out.
Check and see how I'm doing from time to time.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
To-Do List
May 5th is the last day of class...
I will be on spring break from March 16th-25th, I will leave for Germany on March 28th and return April 10th. Also, I will be helping the worship team for Chrysalis between March 16th, 17th, and 18th.
Civ:
one 4-6 page essay due this Sunday at 12 AM sharp
read one book about a historical individual (who was not necessarily significant, but experienced something great), and summarize it
Because I'm going to Germany, visit a concentration camp, take pictures, and present information about it to the class.
A presentation that I would normally have had to have finished by April 10th must now be finished by March 27th.
Also, during the trip to Germany, I have to respond to discussion questions that will be discussed in class while I am away.
German:
At least two more essays before finals
Spanish:
One 5-10 page essay
An in-class presentation
English:
two more essays this semester
Education:
My finished essay over my teacher philosophy
A presentation over learning disorders
Add to that the nightly dosage of homework and studying that goes along with those lovely "after mid-term" weeks and you've got a mess.
Let me just point this out...
Next weekend, I'll be getting off for spring break.
The week following spring break, I'll be leaving on Wednesday for Germany, not coming back until Tuesday of the week after that week (so 13 days)
After that, I will have about 24 days of class left before finals.
Oh man...oh man.
Not to mention that I have to have my application to study in Germany next fall finished by next Thursday (and it costs $150 to apply:-O)
Pray for me.
Pray very hard for me.
I will be on spring break from March 16th-25th, I will leave for Germany on March 28th and return April 10th. Also, I will be helping the worship team for Chrysalis between March 16th, 17th, and 18th.
Civ:
one 4-6 page essay due this Sunday at 12 AM sharp
read one book about a historical individual (who was not necessarily significant, but experienced something great), and summarize it
Because I'm going to Germany, visit a concentration camp, take pictures, and present information about it to the class.
A presentation that I would normally have had to have finished by April 10th must now be finished by March 27th.
Also, during the trip to Germany, I have to respond to discussion questions that will be discussed in class while I am away.
German:
At least two more essays before finals
Spanish:
One 5-10 page essay
An in-class presentation
English:
two more essays this semester
Education:
My finished essay over my teacher philosophy
A presentation over learning disorders
Add to that the nightly dosage of homework and studying that goes along with those lovely "after mid-term" weeks and you've got a mess.
Let me just point this out...
Next weekend, I'll be getting off for spring break.
The week following spring break, I'll be leaving on Wednesday for Germany, not coming back until Tuesday of the week after that week (so 13 days)
After that, I will have about 24 days of class left before finals.
Oh man...oh man.
Not to mention that I have to have my application to study in Germany next fall finished by next Thursday (and it costs $150 to apply:-O)
Pray for me.
Pray very hard for me.
Friday, March 2, 2007
I feel...
like I have nothing under control. Things are piling up...I have no time to do anything. At work I'm stressing out. I'm stressing about my classes. I don't have time to exercise. I don't have time for friends. I have assignments piled up to the sky. I have obligations I'm not able to fulfill.
My money is disappearing.
What in the world is up with me? I think my life is becoming too fast-paced. I'd like to blame my surroundings, but am I to fault?
My money is disappearing.
What in the world is up with me? I think my life is becoming too fast-paced. I'd like to blame my surroundings, but am I to fault?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Mein Freundeskreis
I don't want to go into details on the matter, but a few members of the above-listed group have managed to hurt me. I'm only writing this down here as a way to vent, because I feel doing it elsewhere would only add to the problem. Besides that, I want to believe that things might not be as I think they are.
Only time will tell.
~Buster
Only time will tell.
~Buster
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Matamoros
May God's hand be over that city that I hold so dearly in my heart.
May blessings pour out on the children whose feet run through those streets.
May anointing fall upon the hearts of pastors reaching out to the hurting.
And mostly, may the lives of my dear friends there be filled with the richness and glory of the kingdom of The Lord Almighty.
Que Dios los bendiga ricamente.
My prayer for Matamoros.
As I read messages from those I met there and look at their faces in pictures, I can't help but be filled with an old sentiment rushing through my body. I can't explain the love God has put in my heart for that people. I believe that I despise things so much right now because I have always hoped that earning a degree would bring me one step closer to making it back to the people I believe God has placed so heavily upon my heart in Mexico.
Somos El Pueblo de Dios-Marcos Witt
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Somos un pueblo especial (We're a very special people)
Llamados para anunciar las virtudes de Aquel (Called to proclaim the virtues of Him)
Que nos llamo a su luz (who called us to His light)
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Su sangre nos redimió (His blood has reedemed us)
Y su espiritu dio para darnos poder (and He has given us spirit in order to grant us strength)
Y ser testigos de El (and be His witnesses)
Y llevaremos su gloria a cada pueblo y nación (And we will carry his glory to every people and nation)
Trayéndoles esperanza y nuevas de salvación (Bringing them hope and news of salvation)
Y su amor nos impulsa (And His love impulses us)
No nos podemos callar (We can't be quiet)
Anunciaremos al mundo de su amor y verdad (We will proclaim to the world His love and truth)
When I think about the faces of those people singing that song, it does something to me that I don't know how to describe.
And as I see those faces I have come to love again, I'm inspired to write like this.
May such love be the guiding force of my life, in Jesus' name.
~Buster
May blessings pour out on the children whose feet run through those streets.
May anointing fall upon the hearts of pastors reaching out to the hurting.
And mostly, may the lives of my dear friends there be filled with the richness and glory of the kingdom of The Lord Almighty.
Que Dios los bendiga ricamente.
My prayer for Matamoros.
As I read messages from those I met there and look at their faces in pictures, I can't help but be filled with an old sentiment rushing through my body. I can't explain the love God has put in my heart for that people. I believe that I despise things so much right now because I have always hoped that earning a degree would bring me one step closer to making it back to the people I believe God has placed so heavily upon my heart in Mexico.
Somos El Pueblo de Dios-Marcos Witt
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Somos un pueblo especial (We're a very special people)
Llamados para anunciar las virtudes de Aquel (Called to proclaim the virtues of Him)
Que nos llamo a su luz (who called us to His light)
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Su sangre nos redimió (His blood has reedemed us)
Y su espiritu dio para darnos poder (and He has given us spirit in order to grant us strength)
Y ser testigos de El (and be His witnesses)
Y llevaremos su gloria a cada pueblo y nación (And we will carry his glory to every people and nation)
Trayéndoles esperanza y nuevas de salvación (Bringing them hope and news of salvation)
Y su amor nos impulsa (And His love impulses us)
No nos podemos callar (We can't be quiet)
Anunciaremos al mundo de su amor y verdad (We will proclaim to the world His love and truth)
When I think about the faces of those people singing that song, it does something to me that I don't know how to describe.
And as I see those faces I have come to love again, I'm inspired to write like this.
May such love be the guiding force of my life, in Jesus' name.
~Buster
100's of Little Things...
...add up to be one big mess. I've got an assignment that's late, one that I can't find because I no longer have the link to fill out the survey (that I've already done once...but forgot to print!) I had an interview to do that I forgot about until a day before it, but even though I told the people to take their time they still haven't done it. Other people in class made the information up.
And now I'm getting points deducted. Joy.
I can't wait to get out of this mess of little assignments here and there and their due dates that are basically hidden until the last minute. Still, I suppose it's my fault. As much as I want to complain, I know that I've had the resources to do something about it.
So, where is the fun in college? Why is it that so many people call this the best time of their lives? I work, I go to class, I do homework, and a good deal of the time I'm frantically finishing things. Next semester they're going to raise the cost of tuition about $800...why am I taking classes when my Spanish professor said last semester that (and I've just got to get this frustration out) the Spanish courses here aren't at my level?
Why can't I test out of my language classes, spend two years getting my education requirements finished, and teach? None of this makes sense in my mind.
The world of academia annoys me. All I see is a place where people are constantly trying to prove themselves intelligent. They desperately try to say things that others will remember. They want a piece of paper that declares them a doctor of whatever, and I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is.
"All of it is pointless, a chasing after the wind."
But it's getting late, and I have to work in an hour.
For those who read this, thank you for your willingness to listen to both good and bad things in my life.
~Buster
And now I'm getting points deducted. Joy.
I can't wait to get out of this mess of little assignments here and there and their due dates that are basically hidden until the last minute. Still, I suppose it's my fault. As much as I want to complain, I know that I've had the resources to do something about it.
So, where is the fun in college? Why is it that so many people call this the best time of their lives? I work, I go to class, I do homework, and a good deal of the time I'm frantically finishing things. Next semester they're going to raise the cost of tuition about $800...why am I taking classes when my Spanish professor said last semester that (and I've just got to get this frustration out) the Spanish courses here aren't at my level?
Why can't I test out of my language classes, spend two years getting my education requirements finished, and teach? None of this makes sense in my mind.
The world of academia annoys me. All I see is a place where people are constantly trying to prove themselves intelligent. They desperately try to say things that others will remember. They want a piece of paper that declares them a doctor of whatever, and I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is.
"All of it is pointless, a chasing after the wind."
But it's getting late, and I have to work in an hour.
For those who read this, thank you for your willingness to listen to both good and bad things in my life.
~Buster
Thursday, February 22, 2007
What though the tempest round me roar...
I hear the truth, it liveth.
It seems that I'm caught up in a whirlwind of useless occupation. Everything I do screams POINTLESS, and school is, at the moment, a joke, filled with nothing but work, and my extreme lack of motivation.
Still, I managed to have fun tonight. I finally obliged to go sing karaoke with my co-workers...I ended up being forced to sing Man, I Feel Like A Woman (woah oh ohhhhh, wanna be free and feel the way I feel, cuz man, I feel like a woman)
and Macho Man. I capped off the evening with La Bamba, which everyone seemed to enjoy...
Starting Saturday, I'll be working every day until next Thursday...
Saturday- 8:45 AM-12:45 PM
Sunday- 3:15-7:15
Monday-5:15-8:15
Tuesday-5:15-8:15
Wednesday-5:15-8:15
Thursday-5:15-8:15
I hope and pray that I'm not assigned much homework next week. I'm planning on coming home next Friday, for those of you reading this from home. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Also, Spring Break is coming up...I need one.
And now I retire to my bedchamber-to read, pray, wind down...I realize this post was pointless, but I want to make a habit of keeping up with a journal of some sort, because it's always interesting to see where you've been and remember how you felt in the past.
Que Dios los siga bendiciendo,
~Buster
It seems that I'm caught up in a whirlwind of useless occupation. Everything I do screams POINTLESS, and school is, at the moment, a joke, filled with nothing but work, and my extreme lack of motivation.
Still, I managed to have fun tonight. I finally obliged to go sing karaoke with my co-workers...I ended up being forced to sing Man, I Feel Like A Woman (woah oh ohhhhh, wanna be free and feel the way I feel, cuz man, I feel like a woman)
and Macho Man. I capped off the evening with La Bamba, which everyone seemed to enjoy...
Starting Saturday, I'll be working every day until next Thursday...
Saturday- 8:45 AM-12:45 PM
Sunday- 3:15-7:15
Monday-5:15-8:15
Tuesday-5:15-8:15
Wednesday-5:15-8:15
Thursday-5:15-8:15
I hope and pray that I'm not assigned much homework next week. I'm planning on coming home next Friday, for those of you reading this from home. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Also, Spring Break is coming up...I need one.
And now I retire to my bedchamber-to read, pray, wind down...I realize this post was pointless, but I want to make a habit of keeping up with a journal of some sort, because it's always interesting to see where you've been and remember how you felt in the past.
Que Dios los siga bendiciendo,
~Buster
De reciente...
Me encuentro con mucha presion.
I just have a LOT to do, and no desire, or time, to do it.
This is starting to get absolutely ridiculous...I can't wait until the last day of finals for this semester.
That's all.
I just have a LOT to do, and no desire, or time, to do it.
This is starting to get absolutely ridiculous...I can't wait until the last day of finals for this semester.
That's all.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
1 Day Fast
So, today marks the beginning of the Lenten season. I had in my mind decided to fast three days a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and give up a few other things that take up my time as well.
An interesting thing happened, though, at around six o'clock this evening. I began to lose focus, become dazed, and experience fatigue. By nine o'clock, I was really starting to become "woozy," and at that point, I decided that I would give up the lack of eating for three days each week, so that I would have my energy about me.
Anyway, that was that, though I am thankful that I had this experience. Perhaps my decision was too rash. I did spend the time I would have normally gone to dinner reading the Bible, and as hunger hit me throughout the day I would offer up a short prayer.
Still, I'm wanting to make this season a time of preparation and spiritual growth, and so I'm praying that God would teach me this month.
But it's time for me to start thinking about sleep...I just wanted to share about that. I suppose it's a failure, but the thought that God doesn't require His followers to abide by laws is amazing, considering how hard that was today just to pass up the desire to eat. My lesson for the day:
Be free in Christ. External works and strict adherence to rules are not what Jesus wants for us.
Learn from my failure. I did.
~Buster
An interesting thing happened, though, at around six o'clock this evening. I began to lose focus, become dazed, and experience fatigue. By nine o'clock, I was really starting to become "woozy," and at that point, I decided that I would give up the lack of eating for three days each week, so that I would have my energy about me.
Anyway, that was that, though I am thankful that I had this experience. Perhaps my decision was too rash. I did spend the time I would have normally gone to dinner reading the Bible, and as hunger hit me throughout the day I would offer up a short prayer.
Still, I'm wanting to make this season a time of preparation and spiritual growth, and so I'm praying that God would teach me this month.
But it's time for me to start thinking about sleep...I just wanted to share about that. I suppose it's a failure, but the thought that God doesn't require His followers to abide by laws is amazing, considering how hard that was today just to pass up the desire to eat. My lesson for the day:
Be free in Christ. External works and strict adherence to rules are not what Jesus wants for us.
Learn from my failure. I did.
~Buster
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Es geht weiter...part 1
It's been a while. I suppose with some people who will be reading this, I'd like to think that you've been waiting for this since I stopped my last blog. Like it or not, here it is, a continuation of my story.
........................................................................................................................................................................
Since I left off, basically since the end of my year in Germany, I've started college, experienced reverse culture shock, met a ton of new people, and started pursuing a German/Spanish education degree. At the end of my first semester in college, I made A's in German, Spanish, and English, a B in my Honors Civilization course, and a C in Chemistry (and am completely glad to have finished up the science portion of my required courses.)
Not only that, I've experienced seasons of drought in my spiritual life that have led me, once again, to wonder if I really am a Christian at all any more. This has been, to say the least, very stressful for me. Sometimes I see things that make me completely sick about today's church.
Finally, I've figured out this for myself: In order to experience any soundness in my spiritual life, I have to quit relying on the guidance of others and start focusing on who I am in my relationship with Jesus. That means that, instead of looking for that in the "corporate" worship sort of way, I'll look for it instead through a thorough study of God's word and seeking a deeper relationship with Him.
My mom told me several summers ago before I went to Mexico to "be the sword of God." Although that's not a personal Bible verse, I feel that God has truly called me to glorify Him in this world, in this nation and across the globe.
A few weeks ago, I was driving back to school and praying (I believe it was out loud) that God would give me a word...I thought of two things that people had said that I felt pertained to me, one of them was to be His sword, the other I would rather not disclose here. It's funny though how something I felt called to do before I left for Germany would show back up in my life rather unexpectedly. I'm redoubling my efforts to accomplish this other goal and am praying for a pure purpose in doing so. As far as being God's sword, in Ephesians, Paul calls the Word of God the spiritual sword, so I plan on preparing myself with it. That is the only piece of the spiritual armor that attacks. With it, I hope to be able to make disciples of those I encounter.
I need to get ready for bed, though. I have a few things to do tomorrow in the morning, and I need to pray about the start of Lent. I'm hoping to fast in some way this year, and I hope to identify what I hold too highly in my life. Pray for me. Pray for revival in my heart because that's what I'm seeking.
Es geht weiter. My prayer is that this next chapter of my life will fit perfectly into God's story.
~Buster
........................................................................................................................................................................
Since I left off, basically since the end of my year in Germany, I've started college, experienced reverse culture shock, met a ton of new people, and started pursuing a German/Spanish education degree. At the end of my first semester in college, I made A's in German, Spanish, and English, a B in my Honors Civilization course, and a C in Chemistry (and am completely glad to have finished up the science portion of my required courses.)
Not only that, I've experienced seasons of drought in my spiritual life that have led me, once again, to wonder if I really am a Christian at all any more. This has been, to say the least, very stressful for me. Sometimes I see things that make me completely sick about today's church.
Finally, I've figured out this for myself: In order to experience any soundness in my spiritual life, I have to quit relying on the guidance of others and start focusing on who I am in my relationship with Jesus. That means that, instead of looking for that in the "corporate" worship sort of way, I'll look for it instead through a thorough study of God's word and seeking a deeper relationship with Him.
My mom told me several summers ago before I went to Mexico to "be the sword of God." Although that's not a personal Bible verse, I feel that God has truly called me to glorify Him in this world, in this nation and across the globe.
A few weeks ago, I was driving back to school and praying (I believe it was out loud) that God would give me a word...I thought of two things that people had said that I felt pertained to me, one of them was to be His sword, the other I would rather not disclose here. It's funny though how something I felt called to do before I left for Germany would show back up in my life rather unexpectedly. I'm redoubling my efforts to accomplish this other goal and am praying for a pure purpose in doing so. As far as being God's sword, in Ephesians, Paul calls the Word of God the spiritual sword, so I plan on preparing myself with it. That is the only piece of the spiritual armor that attacks. With it, I hope to be able to make disciples of those I encounter.
I need to get ready for bed, though. I have a few things to do tomorrow in the morning, and I need to pray about the start of Lent. I'm hoping to fast in some way this year, and I hope to identify what I hold too highly in my life. Pray for me. Pray for revival in my heart because that's what I'm seeking.
Es geht weiter. My prayer is that this next chapter of my life will fit perfectly into God's story.
~Buster
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