Es geht weiter...part 1

It's been a while. I suppose with some people who will be reading this, I'd like to think that you've been waiting for this since I stopped my last blog. Like it or not, here it is, a continuation of my story.
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Since I left off, basically since the end of my year in Germany, I've started college, experienced reverse culture shock, met a ton of new people, and started pursuing a German/Spanish education degree. At the end of my first semester in college, I made A's in German, Spanish, and English, a B in my Honors Civilization course, and a C in Chemistry (and am completely glad to have finished up the science portion of my required courses.)
Not only that, I've experienced seasons of drought in my spiritual life that have led me, once again, to wonder if I really am a Christian at all any more. This has been, to say the least, very stressful for me. Sometimes I see things that make me completely sick about today's church.
Finally, I've figured out this for myself: In order to experience any soundness in my spiritual life, I have to quit relying on the guidance of others and start focusing on who I am in my relationship with Jesus. That means that, instead of looking for that in the "corporate" worship sort of way, I'll look for it instead through a thorough study of God's word and seeking a deeper relationship with Him.
My mom told me several summers ago before I went to Mexico to "be the sword of God." Although that's not a personal Bible verse, I feel that God has truly called me to glorify Him in this world, in this nation and across the globe.
A few weeks ago, I was driving back to school and praying (I believe it was out loud) that God would give me a word...I thought of two things that people had said that I felt pertained to me, one of them was to be His sword, the other I would rather not disclose here. It's funny though how something I felt called to do before I left for Germany would show back up in my life rather unexpectedly. I'm redoubling my efforts to accomplish this other goal and am praying for a pure purpose in doing so. As far as being God's sword, in Ephesians, Paul calls the Word of God the spiritual sword, so I plan on preparing myself with it. That is the only piece of the spiritual armor that attacks. With it, I hope to be able to make disciples of those I encounter.
I need to get ready for bed, though. I have a few things to do tomorrow in the morning, and I need to pray about the start of Lent. I'm hoping to fast in some way this year, and I hope to identify what I hold too highly in my life. Pray for me. Pray for revival in my heart because that's what I'm seeking.
Es geht weiter. My prayer is that this next chapter of my life will fit perfectly into God's story.
~Buster