I don't want to go into details on the matter, but a few members of the above-listed group have managed to hurt me. I'm only writing this down here as a way to vent, because I feel doing it elsewhere would only add to the problem. Besides that, I want to believe that things might not be as I think they are.
Only time will tell.
~Buster
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Matamoros
May God's hand be over that city that I hold so dearly in my heart.
May blessings pour out on the children whose feet run through those streets.
May anointing fall upon the hearts of pastors reaching out to the hurting.
And mostly, may the lives of my dear friends there be filled with the richness and glory of the kingdom of The Lord Almighty.
Que Dios los bendiga ricamente.
My prayer for Matamoros.
As I read messages from those I met there and look at their faces in pictures, I can't help but be filled with an old sentiment rushing through my body. I can't explain the love God has put in my heart for that people. I believe that I despise things so much right now because I have always hoped that earning a degree would bring me one step closer to making it back to the people I believe God has placed so heavily upon my heart in Mexico.
Somos El Pueblo de Dios-Marcos Witt
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Somos un pueblo especial (We're a very special people)
Llamados para anunciar las virtudes de Aquel (Called to proclaim the virtues of Him)
Que nos llamo a su luz (who called us to His light)
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Su sangre nos redimió (His blood has reedemed us)
Y su espiritu dio para darnos poder (and He has given us spirit in order to grant us strength)
Y ser testigos de El (and be His witnesses)
Y llevaremos su gloria a cada pueblo y nación (And we will carry his glory to every people and nation)
Trayéndoles esperanza y nuevas de salvación (Bringing them hope and news of salvation)
Y su amor nos impulsa (And His love impulses us)
No nos podemos callar (We can't be quiet)
Anunciaremos al mundo de su amor y verdad (We will proclaim to the world His love and truth)
When I think about the faces of those people singing that song, it does something to me that I don't know how to describe.
And as I see those faces I have come to love again, I'm inspired to write like this.
May such love be the guiding force of my life, in Jesus' name.
~Buster
May blessings pour out on the children whose feet run through those streets.
May anointing fall upon the hearts of pastors reaching out to the hurting.
And mostly, may the lives of my dear friends there be filled with the richness and glory of the kingdom of The Lord Almighty.
Que Dios los bendiga ricamente.
My prayer for Matamoros.
As I read messages from those I met there and look at their faces in pictures, I can't help but be filled with an old sentiment rushing through my body. I can't explain the love God has put in my heart for that people. I believe that I despise things so much right now because I have always hoped that earning a degree would bring me one step closer to making it back to the people I believe God has placed so heavily upon my heart in Mexico.
Somos El Pueblo de Dios-Marcos Witt
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Somos un pueblo especial (We're a very special people)
Llamados para anunciar las virtudes de Aquel (Called to proclaim the virtues of Him)
Que nos llamo a su luz (who called us to His light)
Somos el pueblo de Dios (We are the people of God)
Su sangre nos redimió (His blood has reedemed us)
Y su espiritu dio para darnos poder (and He has given us spirit in order to grant us strength)
Y ser testigos de El (and be His witnesses)
Y llevaremos su gloria a cada pueblo y nación (And we will carry his glory to every people and nation)
Trayéndoles esperanza y nuevas de salvación (Bringing them hope and news of salvation)
Y su amor nos impulsa (And His love impulses us)
No nos podemos callar (We can't be quiet)
Anunciaremos al mundo de su amor y verdad (We will proclaim to the world His love and truth)
When I think about the faces of those people singing that song, it does something to me that I don't know how to describe.
And as I see those faces I have come to love again, I'm inspired to write like this.
May such love be the guiding force of my life, in Jesus' name.
~Buster
100's of Little Things...
...add up to be one big mess. I've got an assignment that's late, one that I can't find because I no longer have the link to fill out the survey (that I've already done once...but forgot to print!) I had an interview to do that I forgot about until a day before it, but even though I told the people to take their time they still haven't done it. Other people in class made the information up.
And now I'm getting points deducted. Joy.
I can't wait to get out of this mess of little assignments here and there and their due dates that are basically hidden until the last minute. Still, I suppose it's my fault. As much as I want to complain, I know that I've had the resources to do something about it.
So, where is the fun in college? Why is it that so many people call this the best time of their lives? I work, I go to class, I do homework, and a good deal of the time I'm frantically finishing things. Next semester they're going to raise the cost of tuition about $800...why am I taking classes when my Spanish professor said last semester that (and I've just got to get this frustration out) the Spanish courses here aren't at my level?
Why can't I test out of my language classes, spend two years getting my education requirements finished, and teach? None of this makes sense in my mind.
The world of academia annoys me. All I see is a place where people are constantly trying to prove themselves intelligent. They desperately try to say things that others will remember. They want a piece of paper that declares them a doctor of whatever, and I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is.
"All of it is pointless, a chasing after the wind."
But it's getting late, and I have to work in an hour.
For those who read this, thank you for your willingness to listen to both good and bad things in my life.
~Buster
And now I'm getting points deducted. Joy.
I can't wait to get out of this mess of little assignments here and there and their due dates that are basically hidden until the last minute. Still, I suppose it's my fault. As much as I want to complain, I know that I've had the resources to do something about it.
So, where is the fun in college? Why is it that so many people call this the best time of their lives? I work, I go to class, I do homework, and a good deal of the time I'm frantically finishing things. Next semester they're going to raise the cost of tuition about $800...why am I taking classes when my Spanish professor said last semester that (and I've just got to get this frustration out) the Spanish courses here aren't at my level?
Why can't I test out of my language classes, spend two years getting my education requirements finished, and teach? None of this makes sense in my mind.
The world of academia annoys me. All I see is a place where people are constantly trying to prove themselves intelligent. They desperately try to say things that others will remember. They want a piece of paper that declares them a doctor of whatever, and I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is.
"All of it is pointless, a chasing after the wind."
But it's getting late, and I have to work in an hour.
For those who read this, thank you for your willingness to listen to both good and bad things in my life.
~Buster
Thursday, February 22, 2007
What though the tempest round me roar...
I hear the truth, it liveth.
It seems that I'm caught up in a whirlwind of useless occupation. Everything I do screams POINTLESS, and school is, at the moment, a joke, filled with nothing but work, and my extreme lack of motivation.
Still, I managed to have fun tonight. I finally obliged to go sing karaoke with my co-workers...I ended up being forced to sing Man, I Feel Like A Woman (woah oh ohhhhh, wanna be free and feel the way I feel, cuz man, I feel like a woman)
and Macho Man. I capped off the evening with La Bamba, which everyone seemed to enjoy...
Starting Saturday, I'll be working every day until next Thursday...
Saturday- 8:45 AM-12:45 PM
Sunday- 3:15-7:15
Monday-5:15-8:15
Tuesday-5:15-8:15
Wednesday-5:15-8:15
Thursday-5:15-8:15
I hope and pray that I'm not assigned much homework next week. I'm planning on coming home next Friday, for those of you reading this from home. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Also, Spring Break is coming up...I need one.
And now I retire to my bedchamber-to read, pray, wind down...I realize this post was pointless, but I want to make a habit of keeping up with a journal of some sort, because it's always interesting to see where you've been and remember how you felt in the past.
Que Dios los siga bendiciendo,
~Buster
It seems that I'm caught up in a whirlwind of useless occupation. Everything I do screams POINTLESS, and school is, at the moment, a joke, filled with nothing but work, and my extreme lack of motivation.
Still, I managed to have fun tonight. I finally obliged to go sing karaoke with my co-workers...I ended up being forced to sing Man, I Feel Like A Woman (woah oh ohhhhh, wanna be free and feel the way I feel, cuz man, I feel like a woman)
and Macho Man. I capped off the evening with La Bamba, which everyone seemed to enjoy...
Starting Saturday, I'll be working every day until next Thursday...
Saturday- 8:45 AM-12:45 PM
Sunday- 3:15-7:15
Monday-5:15-8:15
Tuesday-5:15-8:15
Wednesday-5:15-8:15
Thursday-5:15-8:15
I hope and pray that I'm not assigned much homework next week. I'm planning on coming home next Friday, for those of you reading this from home. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Also, Spring Break is coming up...I need one.
And now I retire to my bedchamber-to read, pray, wind down...I realize this post was pointless, but I want to make a habit of keeping up with a journal of some sort, because it's always interesting to see where you've been and remember how you felt in the past.
Que Dios los siga bendiciendo,
~Buster
De reciente...
Me encuentro con mucha presion.
I just have a LOT to do, and no desire, or time, to do it.
This is starting to get absolutely ridiculous...I can't wait until the last day of finals for this semester.
That's all.
I just have a LOT to do, and no desire, or time, to do it.
This is starting to get absolutely ridiculous...I can't wait until the last day of finals for this semester.
That's all.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
1 Day Fast
So, today marks the beginning of the Lenten season. I had in my mind decided to fast three days a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and give up a few other things that take up my time as well.
An interesting thing happened, though, at around six o'clock this evening. I began to lose focus, become dazed, and experience fatigue. By nine o'clock, I was really starting to become "woozy," and at that point, I decided that I would give up the lack of eating for three days each week, so that I would have my energy about me.
Anyway, that was that, though I am thankful that I had this experience. Perhaps my decision was too rash. I did spend the time I would have normally gone to dinner reading the Bible, and as hunger hit me throughout the day I would offer up a short prayer.
Still, I'm wanting to make this season a time of preparation and spiritual growth, and so I'm praying that God would teach me this month.
But it's time for me to start thinking about sleep...I just wanted to share about that. I suppose it's a failure, but the thought that God doesn't require His followers to abide by laws is amazing, considering how hard that was today just to pass up the desire to eat. My lesson for the day:
Be free in Christ. External works and strict adherence to rules are not what Jesus wants for us.
Learn from my failure. I did.
~Buster
An interesting thing happened, though, at around six o'clock this evening. I began to lose focus, become dazed, and experience fatigue. By nine o'clock, I was really starting to become "woozy," and at that point, I decided that I would give up the lack of eating for three days each week, so that I would have my energy about me.
Anyway, that was that, though I am thankful that I had this experience. Perhaps my decision was too rash. I did spend the time I would have normally gone to dinner reading the Bible, and as hunger hit me throughout the day I would offer up a short prayer.
Still, I'm wanting to make this season a time of preparation and spiritual growth, and so I'm praying that God would teach me this month.
But it's time for me to start thinking about sleep...I just wanted to share about that. I suppose it's a failure, but the thought that God doesn't require His followers to abide by laws is amazing, considering how hard that was today just to pass up the desire to eat. My lesson for the day:
Be free in Christ. External works and strict adherence to rules are not what Jesus wants for us.
Learn from my failure. I did.
~Buster
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Es geht weiter...part 1
It's been a while. I suppose with some people who will be reading this, I'd like to think that you've been waiting for this since I stopped my last blog. Like it or not, here it is, a continuation of my story.
........................................................................................................................................................................
Since I left off, basically since the end of my year in Germany, I've started college, experienced reverse culture shock, met a ton of new people, and started pursuing a German/Spanish education degree. At the end of my first semester in college, I made A's in German, Spanish, and English, a B in my Honors Civilization course, and a C in Chemistry (and am completely glad to have finished up the science portion of my required courses.)
Not only that, I've experienced seasons of drought in my spiritual life that have led me, once again, to wonder if I really am a Christian at all any more. This has been, to say the least, very stressful for me. Sometimes I see things that make me completely sick about today's church.
Finally, I've figured out this for myself: In order to experience any soundness in my spiritual life, I have to quit relying on the guidance of others and start focusing on who I am in my relationship with Jesus. That means that, instead of looking for that in the "corporate" worship sort of way, I'll look for it instead through a thorough study of God's word and seeking a deeper relationship with Him.
My mom told me several summers ago before I went to Mexico to "be the sword of God." Although that's not a personal Bible verse, I feel that God has truly called me to glorify Him in this world, in this nation and across the globe.
A few weeks ago, I was driving back to school and praying (I believe it was out loud) that God would give me a word...I thought of two things that people had said that I felt pertained to me, one of them was to be His sword, the other I would rather not disclose here. It's funny though how something I felt called to do before I left for Germany would show back up in my life rather unexpectedly. I'm redoubling my efforts to accomplish this other goal and am praying for a pure purpose in doing so. As far as being God's sword, in Ephesians, Paul calls the Word of God the spiritual sword, so I plan on preparing myself with it. That is the only piece of the spiritual armor that attacks. With it, I hope to be able to make disciples of those I encounter.
I need to get ready for bed, though. I have a few things to do tomorrow in the morning, and I need to pray about the start of Lent. I'm hoping to fast in some way this year, and I hope to identify what I hold too highly in my life. Pray for me. Pray for revival in my heart because that's what I'm seeking.
Es geht weiter. My prayer is that this next chapter of my life will fit perfectly into God's story.
~Buster
........................................................................................................................................................................
Since I left off, basically since the end of my year in Germany, I've started college, experienced reverse culture shock, met a ton of new people, and started pursuing a German/Spanish education degree. At the end of my first semester in college, I made A's in German, Spanish, and English, a B in my Honors Civilization course, and a C in Chemistry (and am completely glad to have finished up the science portion of my required courses.)
Not only that, I've experienced seasons of drought in my spiritual life that have led me, once again, to wonder if I really am a Christian at all any more. This has been, to say the least, very stressful for me. Sometimes I see things that make me completely sick about today's church.
Finally, I've figured out this for myself: In order to experience any soundness in my spiritual life, I have to quit relying on the guidance of others and start focusing on who I am in my relationship with Jesus. That means that, instead of looking for that in the "corporate" worship sort of way, I'll look for it instead through a thorough study of God's word and seeking a deeper relationship with Him.
My mom told me several summers ago before I went to Mexico to "be the sword of God." Although that's not a personal Bible verse, I feel that God has truly called me to glorify Him in this world, in this nation and across the globe.
A few weeks ago, I was driving back to school and praying (I believe it was out loud) that God would give me a word...I thought of two things that people had said that I felt pertained to me, one of them was to be His sword, the other I would rather not disclose here. It's funny though how something I felt called to do before I left for Germany would show back up in my life rather unexpectedly. I'm redoubling my efforts to accomplish this other goal and am praying for a pure purpose in doing so. As far as being God's sword, in Ephesians, Paul calls the Word of God the spiritual sword, so I plan on preparing myself with it. That is the only piece of the spiritual armor that attacks. With it, I hope to be able to make disciples of those I encounter.
I need to get ready for bed, though. I have a few things to do tomorrow in the morning, and I need to pray about the start of Lent. I'm hoping to fast in some way this year, and I hope to identify what I hold too highly in my life. Pray for me. Pray for revival in my heart because that's what I'm seeking.
Es geht weiter. My prayer is that this next chapter of my life will fit perfectly into God's story.
~Buster
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