एवेर्य्थिंग इस Different

I have no idea why my titles come up like that. The first two jarbles of words are supposed to be "Everything" and "Is."
It's really hard to put my finger on the things that are different.
But I guess if you spend as much time in other countries, on a college campus or traveling in general as I do, life will never consist of any sort of solid foundation of continuity.
I look at friendships growing, friendships dying, feelings of love disappearing almost completely, and I wonder what I can really rely on these days. I guess maybe I'm at the point in my life where change begins to sound less appealing. Or maybe it still does. The idea of traveling abroad sounds great, but the idea of leaving so much behind is terrible.
"..and eventually, the only thing they had in common were their differences..."
I don't really know what I want from life at this point. I think I'll move to Mexico next year, but is that going to be different now that I've been away from there for several years? Germany feels much further away this year than it has in the last few years. Going home is like stepping into a totally different world...or maybe like seeing a place I only know at night during the day. I'm watching my country get weaker, be it through our politicians' inability to unite for some common good or the simple passage of time, the National Enquirer is actually competing with mainstream news media, the presidential campaign is looking more like American Idol than an actual election...
I don't really know what I can rely on anymore. Money isn't always there. Friendships are ridiculously fragile. My body only has a certain amount of time.
This country appears to be on the fast track to ruin. This world will almost certainly follow suit if we people don't straighten up.
I don't know what I want, but I keep having weird images in my head of being an important leader, or launching a huge attack against AIDS and world poverty...
Beyond that, not a lot really matters to me. And I'm quite serious about that.

फ्रेंच अफेयर्स

(I don't know why the title looks like it's written with some foreign script.)

So, according to my French professor, love in France is a game. You ignore the one you love. I think we also do this in America.
Similarly, it's also uncomfortable to express to friends how much they mean to you. Once, someone told me that I was a good friend...it was a really intense moment. I gave a thumbs up, because I felt too awkward to say anything else. That was stupid.
Telling someone that you're interested in them takes time...at least with me. I'm just reflecting on it at the moment, but I think it's crazy how we desperately go for those things that present themselves impossible to achieve, while things that practically throw themselves at our feet are taken for granted.
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate my life and take the things that are there for me now.
This is nothing deep. I'm just thinking about the idea.

Spring

Spring has sprung here in Murray. All I can say about this is that life is great. I have amazing friends. I have amazing times with those friends. I'm always sentimental about them, but I can't help thanking God for them everyday.
I also have the worst timing ever. I'll learn to think my timing through a little better the next time. La presencia del miedo es la ausencia del gozo. The presence of fear is the absence of joy.
I came up with that myself...at least, I don't think I got it from someone else. Had I thought along those lines about a month ago I might be singing a slightly different, but nonetheless still happy tune.
With this post I'm simply reestablishing (or maybe re-establishing) blogging habits, though I've posted a few things here and there on Facebook. I need a digital camera. There are important things in my life I need to show here.