Monday, April 20, 2009

Existence and X/Y Values or Inverse Equations (Buster's thoughts for an evening)

Taken from a 27 March Facebook entry...
So I'm stuck in this mode tonight.
What am I? I look at pictures, and some would say I see what I am. But that's only an image, so it's not me.
In my memory I see my family, but the living, breathing family of today is not that. So is it my family? Is the present all that is? Because things in the past WERE, as we learn when we study other languages. But is the present really valid? Can it be? It's not what WILL BE.
Sometimes we lose ourselves in other worlds. Or maybe we find ourselves there. Maybe we find pieces of ourselves spread across our interests, our weaknesses, our talents, and our strengths and dirty weaknesses. What does it mean to be me?
"The whole is more than the sum of its parts," says Aristotle. So I am Buster. But I'm also Francis. I live in Kentucky. I play some music. I speak three languages.
That list could go on and on. Take one away, and you don't have me anymore, you have something less.
I am a unique mixture of these things, but perhaps I'm only in a unique package. Maybe there are thousands, if not millions, of other "types" like me. Other "mixtures" that are just put together differently from the outside.
Some things I realized though are that we can NOT escape from ourselves forever.
We can easily deceive ourselves to believe something that is not true as long as we will it to be true. So is truth then absolute, or is it how we perceive it?
If it's how we perceive it, then the "mentally unstable" are seeing truth. But if they're seeing truth, and we're seeing truth, then perhaps truth is multi-faceted.
But if they're insane, then truth is in the eyes of the masses. But what if the masses are wrong?
In the end, isn't truth only decided by the ones who outnumber the others? Isn't that the principle of democracy? Don't we see this at work in what we call "fair trials"?
I can't escape who I am. I can only deceive myself and make myself believe I'm what I'm not. But finding out exactly what parts go into the complicated equation of "me" is going to be difficult, if not impossible. But then again, maybe it's not necessary. Maybe I should just accept myself as the whole? But if I only see what I think is there, am I really seeing the true me? Let's say the answer to equation one is "x" and the answer to equation two is "y." If y is the truth, but x is a perceived notion based on observable values, then it's very easy to conclude that x is not y. Is this making sense?
And at one point in life I was interested in inverse equations (otherwise known as opposing forces). If that's the case, if people fit into this blank and barebones algebraic theory, do each of us also have an inverse value?
If "you" (or whatever vestige of yourself you may be deceived to think you are) would like to delve deeper into these thoughts, talk to me. Or watch the movie "The Nines." It will make you think. As for me, I'm going to stare at my ceiling and think about this for a while.

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